“Do or do not, there is no try.” -Master Yoda, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.

“Do or do not, …


A particularly creepy story.

There was once a man named Charles who lived in the not-so thriving town of Harlow. One day, Charles was sat in his room playing Skyrim when there was a noise on the landing. Charles thought that it may just be one of his siblings but then he thought, “Wait, didn’t my family pop to Martin’s?” The sound seemed as though it was getting closer and closer to Charles’ door. Charles looked over at his door after pausing his game and the sound had grown rather loud. A slight sound of breathing… No, wait, panting could be heard from just outside the bedroom door. 

Suddenly the door swung open with brute force and a stout, grubby, bearded man was standing in the doorway. Charles gasped as he leaped for the nearest object of which could be used as a weapon. (It turns out that he had grabbed his neighbour’s cat which freaked out and scratched him.) The scruffy looking man approached Charles with a hand in his inside pocket and whispered, “Hey, kid. Feel like giving me a hand? I’ll pay you.” Charles stood up and backed away slowly as he murmured, “What if I don’t want to?” The man came closer so Charles closed his eyes in hope that this strange person would just leave.

After a moment of eerie silence, Charles opened his eyes to see that the man had totally disappeared. Shocked, Charles sat down to continue playing Skyrim, thinking the man was simply a figment of his imagination. As Charles went to un-pause the game he realised that his right hand was missing. Speechless, Charles desperately looked around and noticed a small object on his desk. He stumbled over and discovered a single, pound coin.

The moral of this story is to never play Skyrim whilst your family are at Martin’s.

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Ben’s life lessons. (Unfinished)

1) When life gets rough and it seems as if there’s no point, take a nap.
2) If you find that there’s nobody to talk to, become schizophrenic.
3) Never mistake your cursor for the letter R.
4) Spleens have the ability to make us fly but unfortunately we do not have this skill as we all have spleen cancer.
5) Never look up Chernobyl.


This post is rather ironic considering I’m a bit of a hypocrite myself however I shall write it anyway. 

Don’t you just hate hypocrites? (Don’t answer that, it was rhetorical.) Well I do, well most of the time anyway. I have seen so much hypocrisy throughout my life and it’s getting on my nerves, whether it’s saying that a game’s really nerdy and I’m weird for playing it then playing it themselves or commenting on someone’s bad grammar when their grammar is really great either. It’s irritating, isn’t it? (That was rhetorical as well.) If you’re going to insult someone just to go do the thing that you insulted in the first place, you’re a bit of a fool. It’s everywhere, so many people commit to hypocrisy! It’s rather ridiculous. As you can see, this article is rather repetitive and without a point, this is because I do not plan my work, I improvise. Problem? Refer to the word,”Leave” in the Collins English Dictionary.

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Genres and other related guff.

Genres, there are many; Horror, comedy, romance, thriller, the list goes on, however recently I have thought about why certain people click with different genres of book and film. For instance, I always like a good sci-fi adventure with comedic input however others enjoy more frightening, jump-scares. There may be scientific theories with proof to back them up but forget that, who needs evidence? My theory is that our dreams influence the things we enjoy. Yes, this theory may be rather far fetched, I agree, however anything is plausible. I believe the opposite to the popular,”Books can influence your dreams.” Anyway, enough of that, we’re sort of straying from the subject which is mentioned in the title of this post. At school you always get Shakespeare and Edgar Allan Poe which, in my opinion, is too easy to interpret. I think more science fiction and more imaginative stories should be shown in lessons. Let’s face it, there aren’t many children who will grow up and think,”I’m in the mood for a Shakespearean tragedy.” People should educate with the future of genres in mind. Sure, we should keep Shakespeare’s work alive but not many care to read it and therefore should be taught more modern books. Anyway, my point being, you’re doing it wrong.

My inspirations.

I’ve been inspired by many people on different occasions, for instance my senior school English teacher, Mr King, who inspired me to create a blog or David Mitchell who inspired me to become the opinionated being you see before you today. Inspiration can come from many places whether it be school, television, the internet or books. Anybody can inspire you whether you want them to or not, I, for one, find this somewhat interesting, how a few words can influence your entire life. Due to a few words from people like Daniel Hardcastle and Stuart Ashen have pushed me towards a more comedic lifestyle whereas various artists and graphic designers have pushed me towards a more creative, artistic path. 

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These days, popularity systems are ridiculous. To be popular, one must look good yet cannot be too intelligent it seems. If you look at the hierarchy that is school, you shall realise that the more popular individuals aren’t the smartest of people, however on the rare occasion you may see a smart yet popular individual. As one climbs further down the “popularity scale”, one tends to become more intelligent, more mature, they seem to grasp a better understanding of the world around them. Also, most of the popular kids tend to have many, many relationships, I find this odd as they’re always blabbering on about how they love one another and how they’ve finally found their one, true match. Due to these reasons and others-including their dress sense-I don’t tend to like these people, they get on my nerves.

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